How to
by Kerr2408
Summary: Tips on everything that happens in sunnydale.
1. Chapter 1

How to save the world:

1\. Turn dangerous weapons(such as the key) that can end the world into the slayers sister.(By the monks.)

No one ever expects the sister. Just make sure another loved one isn't sick. Otherwise, a slayer, 2 witches, an ex-demon, a watcher and some random guy called Xander Harris might create a spell that ruins everything.

2\. Get a gang together in high school and hope for the best.(By Buffy Summers.)

If you suddenly find out that your destiny is to save the world from the big bad, not to mention that your moving to a new school because someone burnt your old one (not my fault!) Then you should grab the first two people you see and hope that they either find out that their a witch or end up dating an ex-demon. If your lucky then maybe you'll end up with both.

3\. Get a chip in your neck.(By Spike.)

First things first, you have to be a vampire or some sort of demon. Then you have to get captured by the initiative and get a chip that stops you from harming humans. Now, don't forget to escape. After that, the Scooby gang will probably let you stay, which will also give you protection from whatever's trying to end the world this time, until you find out that you can still fight demons and get yourself a crypt but still getting some protection. This is more to do with how to survive the end of the world than how to save it. Same thing.


	2. Chapter 2

How to live with Spike:

1\. Tie him up.(By Xander Harris.)

This is the most important one. If you don't tie him up then who knows what he'll do. Sure, he says he can't hurt you because of a chip but we all know that he's just waiting to pick us off one by one. He'll get you at night when your asleep and bite you. I'm getting of track. I know that Giles let him walk around but I don't trust him.

2\. Expect him to ruin your favourite foods.(By Giles.)

Spike has to ruin everything with blood. Yes, I understand he is a vampire and that blood is his main food source but these are the foods that Spike has ruined for me:

Weetabix,

Corn flakes,

Actually any type of cereal,

Tea(yes, I know it's a drink but it's still ruined.)

Turkey(not him but still ruined.)

The list keeps going.

3\. Expect a lot of complaining!(By everyone)

If it's not about food then it's something to do with t.v., if it's not that then it's about our treatment of him, if it's not that then he's bored, if it's not that then... Short version is, Spike complains a lot. If he does live with you then Good luck!


	3. Chapter 3

How to end the world:

1\. Have a crazy girlfriend.(By Spike.)

It helps if she's the one that turned you into a soulless killing machine that can brake human bones like twigs. Point is, she's going to end up dying and needing you to preform a certain ritual. Just make sure no pesky slayer tries to ruin your plan. A few people died, so what? It was there own fault.

2\. Be two faced, literally.(By Glory and Ben.)

Your probably wondering what I mean. _We_ _mean_. Shut up! You're also probably wondering what a Goddess like me is doing stuck with this weak mortal. _Hey_, _I_ _didn't_ _choose_ _this_ _eith_... Shut up! Anyways, long story short, I got too powerful, the other two got jealous. Yada Yada ya, they banished me into this rubbish world where-_give me my body back, I need to got to work!_ _Ow!_ **Shut** **up! **I look around this world and all I see is 6 billion lunatics looking for the fastest ride out. And you call me crazy! If in doubt change face.

3\. Get cursed with a soul then lose it.(Angel/Angelous.)

Why should I keep myself from having true happiness just to have a soul. It wasn't that good with one anyway. All that guilt.


	4. Chapter 4

How to have the perfect thanksgiving:

1\. Guests.(By Buffy Summers.)

It's important to have the right people coming. Most people invite there family round, I think that if you want the perfect thanksgiving dinner you should invite:

An ex-demon,

Two witches, one that thought she was a demon,

An evil vampire that wants to kill you,

A watcher

And someone with siphilles.

Don't forget the gate crashing ghosts who also want to kill you.

2\. Use a bunch of things you don't even know the name of.(Also by Buffy Summers.)

The whole fun of making thanksgiving dinner is not knowing what your doing. So the turkey is inedible, or you have to cut the cranberry sauce with a knife. Just as long as you sound like you know what you are doing, you should be fine.

3\. Stalk a loved one.(By Angel/Angelous.)

Im not sure who you stalk but I stalk my ex-girlfriend. It's okay if her friends know your there just make sure that they don't tell her until your gone. Then she will follow you to l.a. and you'll have a chance to be human and be with her only to throw it away because you don't like being weak. Who needs to go out into the sun? I kept getting burnt anyways.


	5. Chapter 5

How to be a great slayer:

1\. Burn down a building.(By Buffy.)  
If you do take my advice then I suggest that a school is the best building to burn down. This way you will have to start a new school and hopefully meet a witch, a librarian that is also your watcher and a guy with very strange luck in dating.

2\. Drown.(By Buffy.)  
There can only be one slayer at a time. When one dies a new slayer is chosen. So, if you momentarily die then be brought back to life through CPR, the slayer line no longer runs through you and there are two slayers.

3\. Make some bad lifestyle choices.(By Buffy and Faith.)  
Whether it's making the only good vampire lose his soul or killing an innocent human being, every slayer makes a bad choice at one point or the other. Just try not to let your choice end the world. 


	6. Chapter 6

How to get great friends:

1\. Be bitten by them.(By Spike.)

Yep, being bitten and turned into a vampire by them is a great bonding. You even a cool name for your group, like "the whirlwind" or "the scourge of Europe." Who cares if they keep betraying you?

or

2\. Be a slayer.(By Buffy.)

Being a slayer puts you in a lot of deadly situations which creates life long bonds with people who are practically strangers to you. If you don't get along with them just burn down the school and meet new ones or don't get there until the vampire gets them. Not that I ever did that. Don't tell anyone! :)


	7. Chapter 7

How to be enemies with the slayer:

1\. Be a vampire/demon.(By Spike.)

She's the slayer, it's her job to kill demons. You're hardly going to be best buddies from the start. She's got this weird view of demons, very superstitious. She thinks all demons try to do is kill people, 'course she's right but she still shouldn't think it. Unless you used to be close and she takes pity, or you get cursed with a soul like peaches, you don't have a chance.

2\. Plot to end the world.(By everyone who tried to end the world.)

If you weren't already in the slayers bad books for being a demon, then trying to end the world should do the job. It's a very common occurrence for Sunnydale and if your not her best friend or dating her best friend then your not going to be forgiven anytime soon.

3\. It's not that hard to become the slayers enemy.(By Faith.)

Title says it all.


	8. Chapter 8

How to save the world:

1\. Turn dangerous weapons(such as the key) that can end the world into the slayers sister.(By the monks.)

No one ever expects the sister. Just make sure another loved one isn't sick. Otherwise, a slayer, 2 witches, an ex-demon, a watcher and some random guy called Xander Harris might create a spell that ruins everything.

2\. Get a gang together in high school and hope for the best.(By Buffy Summers.)

If you suddenly find out that your destiny is to save the world from the big bad, not to mention that your moving to a new school because someone burnt your old one (not my fault!) Then you should grab the first two people you see and hope that they either find out that their a witch or end up dating an ex-demon. If your lucky then maybe you'll end up with both.

3\. Get a chip in your neck.(By Spike.)

First things first, you have to be a vampire or some sort of demon. Then you have to get captured by the initiative and get a chip that stops you from harming humans. Now, don't forget to escape. After that, the Scooby gang will probably let you stay, which will also give you protection from whatever's trying to end the world this time, until you find out that you can still fight demons and get yourself a crypt but still getting some protection. This is more to do with how to survive the end of the world than how to save it. Same thing.


End file.
